sigh

didnt get that 1 extra mark for math. stuck with a c.sigh. a C and a B, though only one grade apart sounds like a lot of difference. and i hate the way that difference is making me feel upset :( i guess my prelim grades sucked after all. whatever.

kinda down today actually. don't feel like going to school these few days though its the last few days of it and i should be treasuring them. just dont really feel like talking to people or hanging out with friends for that matter. anti-social. yeah. my symptom of stress. and hearing people complaining about getting a B instead of an A just makes me want to hurl.i don't blame them. i mean, its human nature to always want to attain something better but it just reminds me of how far away i am from them. yeah. perhaps it should serve as motivation but if i were to be honest with myself, its just making me feel terrible. especially this close to A's. looking at all these, i really wonder if i'm ever good enough. good enough to even be applying for a scholarship, applying for med school and all. i know im wallowing in self-doubt and its not good. but its just what really runs across my mind.

home feels like a really good place to be right now. where nobody's around to make me feel stupid or inadequate. i guess i should have gotten used to culture in RJ by now. in fact i used to believe i thrived on it but i guess not anymore. its the last few days i know. but its seems to be taking forever.